SUCKS-PO

Anyone went to Sexpo? Did you feel your $15 was a rip off?

Wah liao, what a disappointment. I was so looking forward, thinking i can pick some exotic dance move tips, purchase some spit fire outfits for the shows. But the dancers turned out so.o.o. and i mean so.o.o amateur (I think those staff performance i choreograph are of higher standard). And the lingerie hanging on the racks for sale meant for steaming up your bedroom adventures are stocks from 10 years ago. I'm serious!

I thought exhibitions like these would not allow cameras so I didn't bring, but when i saw everyone armed with cameras or phone cameras frantically snapping away, i was like, shit, how come i didn't bring mine so that i can blog? But after browsing for half an hour, i know there was no loss, nothing much for me to snap, and maybe half the Singapore population already went. I think the hollywood boulevard strip in L.a. popular for their strip outfits and toys, if you have been there, is 10 times, make it 20, more exiting.

By far the most interesting things were the exhibits from Qing or whatever Dynasty, and makes you realise people in 3000 B.C. already very kinky, making out at gardens and so on, and usually with a peeping tom peering from a bush . Haha, so funny, and complete with their tok-tok-chiang wayang head gears and usually half cumbersomely undressed, if you know how many layers of fabric they used to wear. hahaha!

The booth that probably attracted most people were the House of Condom and the Vicon girls attemping exotic dance and blowing up condoms like a balloon (er, no, not at the same time, it's 2 separate acts) but what really attracted the audience were their micro mini skirts that revealed their bikini briefs that most ah peks thought was underwear peering out at them. At one point I hear from the main stage blasting Black Eye Pea's "don't funk with my heart" and i dashed to the scene thinking i can catch exotic dance performance. Dance performance it was, but by 2 barely adolescent "xiao mei mei" trying hard to memorise their steps. They had no make up on, no fancy costumes, i was wondering if it was only a rehearsal.

Then out of nowhere there was a dunking machine with a trying-so-hard-to-be coy lass cringing each time a tennis ball hits the canvas when it misses the target. And mind you it's not a free game, you gotto pay some $5 for 3 tries (maybe it's for charity, I don't know, i didn't go near enought to scrutinise). If you think like me "for what"??? (unless it's for charity) you are sane. Neverthless, this 'coy girl' (although i thought it fake) trying to flirt with the audience managed to attract enough insane people to pay to try to get her down.

I'm sorry, I'm usually not that bitchy. I don't mean to be hard on the dancers or the games but what I'm really disappointed is at how the whole thing doesn't worth the $15 admission. Honestly, if it's free admission i wouldn't have been so critical but 2 persons went and already thrity freaking bucks, and most of those toys and lingerie you can find at Orchard Towers, nothing new and unique about them. The most sold item in most of the booths was this vibrating ring to be worn by the men that gives women a sensation and hello, ......this item already hit the shelves of 7-11 more than half a year ago!

And for the dancers....please hire professional ones, not give dance schools a chance to showcase their beginner class students for this highly hyped debut event, i might as well watch those in my pole dance school!

If you ask me if I would go for subsequent Sexpo, maybe 5 years from now, that is if they survive the next 5 years here.